As I was strolling on a South Padre Beach, watching the waves rolling on and off the coast, feeling the heat on my skin, sensing the warm water under my feet, I could not help but wonder why women do not take solo breaks? All the families, parents with kids, teens in groups, and couples, but very few single travelers on the beach, men or women. Why don’t we vacation alone?
The post will explore the primary reasons we don’t go on vacation solo.
Too expensive, where to get the money?
I am betting you, one of the most straightforward constraints to justify not going on any vacation ever if the cost. The lodging, the airfare, rental car, food, and entertainment are among the most frequent offenders. Yes, holidays cost money, for sure. On the other hand, there are millions of ways to make it happen. Here are some ideas.
- Plan in advance, start close to home, local. An example could be a whole afternoon to yourself going on a hike or cross-country exploration. It will cost you close to nothing, and you will enjoy the afternoon.
- Defer to domestic trips. To lower your traveling cost, start with neighboring states and/or nearby cities.
- Drive instead of flying. You will save a bundle by driving vs flying to any domestic destination. No parking at airport fees, no rental car costs, and all the flexibility you want. Win-win.
Shameful, what will people say?
Let’s be honest here, it is not in our culture or any other culture that women of any age take off on vacation. You “supposed” to be with your loved one, kids, or at least, for God’s sake, with your girlfriends, but traveling entirely alone?
Somewhere in the back of our minds, we, women, are afraid to be left behind by the tribe. We don’t want to stand out or piss anyone off. We simply would prefer to play it safe and not to stick our necks out there. I bet you do want to go? Think about who’s opinion REALLY matters and whether you really care, not like, what do I suppose to feel like, but like, do I really give a “shit”???
Mom guilt, what about the kids?
This is a classic women’s guilt trip, but what about the kids? WHAT WILL MY KIDS BE DOING when I am out there, having a blast, chilling with a full glass of pina colada? Shouldn’t I be with them? Take them along with me, include them?
What can I say- you sure could, BUT you and I both know, It will be no longer a vacation for you. It will be a family vacay, after which, my dear, you will need another vacation to recover.
A logistical nightmare, who will be watching the kids?
Figuring out who will babysit your kids, cats, and your favorite dog is no joke. The devil is in details and in the fine print of the agreement. If dad is in the picture, he could be a logical first choice for your babysitting needs. If dad is not an option, finding a trustworthy babysitter that will not break your bank can be a chore.
Luckily, my husband steps in every time I need to travel, so we have that covered. On the other hand, check with your in-laws, girlfriends, or trusted sitters if you can afford an overnighter. Again, think 1-2 nights to start with, close by, easy weekend trip. Start small, build on it.
Pure anxiety, what will I do by myself?
The first time I heard of someone asking that question, I was a bit puzzled. “Sasha, but what will I do there ALONE?”.
Okay, my dears, I am no counselor or psychologist, but why in the world are we not okay to be along with ourselves? Why do we need to be talked to, entertained, and be with another person 24/7?
It seems crazy to me, but when I travel alone, I rarely “miss” people. Here are some ideas on what to do with yourself and your time:
- Read that book you bought but could not get to
- Chill outdoors, sit on the beach, walk in the woods, watch the lake water, meditate
- Journal last 3 months of your life, figure out what makes you tick
- Think about what do you want to do next in your life, why it is important
- Journal 3 things that hold you back, and how to overcome the obstacle
- Review your finances, figure out what is really going on with your money
- Write thank you letters to 10 closest people you know/love/care about
- Make a list of attractions to see in the area
- Attend local meetup, salsa class, yoga studio
- Get a treat for a massage, or other bodywork
- Take a break and sleep in for an entire day, just stay in bed with little breaks for food/water
Conclusion: solo vacations, while they do cost money, take time to plan, and require some effort, are by far the best thing you can do for yourself. You can take an afternoon, or you can take two solid weeks off and chill out, but one thing is for sure, if you do it right, you will come back to life full of energy, ideas, and full of zest to charge at life again. Take the time you and your body need. You will be glad you did. Trust me on that.