Why is your salary is where it is now? Why is your significant other, or relationships or any other part of your life is in the state it is in? Why people treat you certain way? I would argue that what you think about yourself defines most of not all other areas of your life. The post will take apart the connection between your self-esteem and the very quality of your life.
First, lets start with defining what is self-esteem is? According to the Oxford Languages dictionary, self-esteem is “confidence in one`s own worth or abilities; self-respect.”
Key signs of low self-esteem
- The internal tape or the words you say to yourself is mostly negative
- Continuously comparing yourself to others
- Being critical about self, your abilities, features, and other traits
- Feeling unworthy of love and affection, feeling beneath others
- Having hard time hearing praise, accepting compliments
- Avoiding or withdrawing from social events
- Feeling anxious, fearful, depressed, sad
- Fear and avoidance of decisions, challenging situations changes
Signs of high self-esteem
- Assertive in setting boundaries, expressing needs and opinions
- Confident about the ability to handle life situations and challenges
- Ability to form strong and healthy relationships based on mutual respect
- Accepting responsibility for the quality of life you live
- Avoid self-destructive behaviors
- Taking active care of the self: health, mental state, relationships, appearance
- Actively seeking rewarding and enjoyable work and relationships
- Feeling secure about your own identity, sense of belonging, and competencies
We all met high-earners, and let’s be honest here, the majority of these folks are highly confident, positive people, beaming with energy. These people seem to have their way in communicating their purpose and value with their sheer presence.
From your first phone interview to the offer you will receive, you define how much money you will earn for doing any type of work. Your self-esteem, high or low opinion about yourself will seep in in your posture, look, language you use, examples, tone of voice.
When you self-confidence is high you will be well-groomed, crisp, assertive and firm in your income negotiations. Once the offer is accepted, you will continue striving to grow your skills, scanning the environment for new opportunities to get involved in. You will voice your ideas during meetings and take on new challenging and risky initiatives. You will be kind to yourself when something does not work or your ideas fail. You will continue designing and building the life you want and negotiate the right compensation for your efforts, knowing how valuable you are.
On the other hand, if your self-esteem is low, you may allow your employer to take advantage of you. You will keep a low profile, not stick out, keep it quiet during meetings, and god forbid, take on hard tasks that may highlight your incompetencies and gaps. You will hide from opportunities and limit your exposure. Your employer in return, will rank you as an average performer, you pay you accordingly. You will get more and more negative and self-critical until that negative will start to show at work, and you will may even get fired. The bottom line is: employers notice and compensate folks who think they are worthy of being noticed and compensated.
I meet these men and women all the time. They wait for someone to come and save them. They wait for the other half ot find them, recognize them, and validate their life is worth living. Those are the people who claim to look for the “one” and until then they are unemployed, unfulfilled, obese, disgruntled, and just plain unhappy. I meet folks who believe that the other person`s job is to make them feel better about themselves, feel like they matter. What a trap!!! (for the other person).
I am not sure about you, but I would hate to meet someone who is in constant need for me to make them feel special, loved, pretty, successful, and whatever else!!! No thanks.
On the other hand, you may agree that one of the most attractive features of any person on earth, man or a woman, is their “mojo” or their confidence. Nobody wants to pick up a loser and nurse them into health. We all want a healthy, competent, kind, loving, and yes, a confident partner. So be that person!
Start you search with you. Become a person who has a high self-esteem and you will see that your entire life will shift in fron of your eyes. Losers, energy vampires, and other takers will follow off the map, and you meet new people, enter into fulfilling relationships and address nake challenges you are struggling with now.